23
Jan
07

It’s OK to laugh.

Always Funny – Midgets.

Yes midgets, not dwarfs or “little people” or other synonyms that make them sound like mythological creatures, why they’d prefer those are inexplicable. What negative connotation does midget have? Everyone knows what it is and attaches no negative emotions to it. It’s not “nigger” or “faggot” or even “Indian”.

Midgets are funny, sorry midgets, get used to it. You’re adorable no matter what you do. Their arms and hilarious little legs are what my dreams are made of. They just make me smile. Like puppies. I know that they are people with feelings, but how do you expect me not to look when someone with a huge (pun absolutely intended) physical defect shows up? If someone with a taint for a forehead walked by anyone would look, hell even the kid with the one little stumpy arm would look. By the way, how does that guy wipe his bum after he’s had a shit? If I were a midget I’d ride around on a tricycle and smoke cigars all day.

Often Funny – Gay men who act like total fruits.

I know laughing at all gay people is just wrong. Mostly because gay men in general aren’t very funny. They’re just like everyone else, boring. Always thinking of everyday stuff like laundry or what to make for dinner or how they’d like a snack. There are however gay men any sane person would laugh at. If someone doesn’t that person probably has serious anger issues.

You know the type of homosexual I’m talking about. These ultra-queer effeminate guys in tight gold hotpants, a pink tanktop, combat boots and that grating voice. The stereotype that’s come to haunt the LGBT movement for decades. One thing you have to remember is that those gay men exist, by the tens of thousands all over the world. I’ve seen some of them and they are hilariously absurd. Note that I don’t mention gay stereotypes on TV as being funny, American sitcoms are horrible.

Sometimes Funny – Kids who get themselves killed.

A child starving to death in Africa is horrible and tragic. These children were never given a chance in life and probably suffered more in their short lives than you or I in our comfy middle-class life ever will. Count your lucky stars you came from the right womb. That said, some kids deaths are incredibly funny. It’s all about context. When ever I hear about some rich kid getting bored and deciding that playing nailgun roulette or anal bottle rocket surprise is a good idea I chuckle. My only regret is that these kids didn’t take their parents with them so we’d be without their whining. Their parenting failed, they’re failures as parents and as human beings and their comedic value is essentially zero.

Even when kids get faux-depressed and decide to kill themselves I often laugh a little. What happened? Did Hot Topic run out of your size of leather pants? The least these little douchebags could do is leave a proper suicide note explaining how neither music nor video-games drove them to this. Spare me the angst ridden crap about how you loved your girlfriend/boyfriend. If anyone cared they’d have payed attention when you were alive. Stop ruining the fun for all the rest of us.

Never funny – Cool people.

Go into any indie cafe in the middle of the afternoon and you’ll find more of them than you’d ever care to see in your life. Don’t these people have jobs to do or at least some form of activity other than sitting around? It’s a beverage for fuck sake, it’s not the Messiah and this place isn’t the Temple Mount. If I hear one more asshole reading a book shushing me for having a normal conversation I’ll pour his coffee onto his book, throw his book onto the floor and then shit directly into his notebook. I don’t even know if these people are considered cool or even if they would describe themselves as such. They’re just too cool and ironic to be labeled.

Irony isn’t dead but half-assed sarcasm from idiots who study English Literature certainly is.

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1 Response to “It’s OK to laugh.”


  1. January 30, 2007 at 5:39 am

    Well, your never boring that’s for sure.
    The short film under regrets was worth watching.
    Hope thing’s are going well.

    I’ll be back.
    =;-)


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