Archive for August, 2007


Searching for something or other.

There are few times in life when we are ever truly and utterly happy. Right slap dash in the middle of joy, if you will. These moments are so seldom a part of our lives. Yet we cling on to them, more so than others. Most of us are, most of the time, mostly, just neutral in every day life. Not feeling anything in particular. Probably because we at that very moment are not on fire, being stabbed, run over, struck by lighting or in other ways dying. Yet people obsess about being happy, constantly happy, overjoyed even. Continually being in positive situations where everything revolves around their positive emotions. Horseshit!

Happiness, like romance, cannot be constructed and planned. Only a cheap replica can be created, a lesser versions of the real thing. These can certainly be enjoyable, I suppose, but that begs the question: How is that happiness any more acceptable and real than that which a junkie gets with each fix? It’s all just neurons and pathways smothered in chemicals up there in that box of wires you call your brain. I’ve never understood societies objections to certain things you may do to your own body. Granted the fallout of these actions may be bothersome to the “civilized” world in which we live. But then shouldn’t the fallout be the centre of attention? And personal responsibility be the issue? Yes, certain drugs and substances are so potent that they will likely lead to a whole series of problems. Probably resulting in death. Then again, life is a series of problems resulting in death. Maybe a serious heroin addiction is just life in concentrated form?

And you’d think people would have heard something negative about heroin, meth and crack by now. I’ll just stick to my drugs of choice thank you very much. Caffeine, alcohol and sex. They bring me all the chemical joy I need, most of the time.

“Save your bullets tough guy, my disease does that for free.”

PS – I came dangerously close to writing “chemical romance” in a paragraph. Luckily I was able to stab myself in the forearm before that could happen….

Did you know

..that I like stuff?


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