Archive for November, 2007



That’s what the world looks like to me right now. A big stinking mound of pure excrement. And it just keeps piling on every day. Higher and higher until maybe, hopefully, it all tips over and drowns us in a flash flood of feces. A turd tsunami of destruction. Enough with the poop talk.

Every time I think I’ve found a loophole it turns out to be a noose.  I used to be good at “the talking”, “the talking” was my thing. My only thing really. Now I just flop around like a fish having some sort of epileptic fit. I can’t believe how much time I’ve wasted trying to be something I’m not. I’m not a cool guy, I’m just a nice guy wearing an awesome shirt and hat. I don’t know which disappoints me more; Me trying to act like someone else or me being the exact same person I’ve always been. I’m essentially a tall 8 year old boy holding a beer. Somewhat more hairy of course.

At other times I feel like I’m doing a piss poor impersonation of myself.

Honestly, I quite often wish I was gay. Or at the very least bi-sexual. Which is sort of gay-lite, I guess, I don’t really know a lot about gayness. I’d imagine coming out to my family would be harsh but after that it’s just clear sailing ahead! No more having to deal with women and their bullshit! Now if I can just stay clear of natural disasters involving fecal matter and I’m all set.

Be quiet and let me love you. Let me love you and have some cake. 

Did you know

..that I like stuff?


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