Archive for January, 2009

12
Jan
09

Say what?

I want to find interesting and unusual ways of phrasing myself. I strive towards it constantly and with all the determination I can muster. There is a form of yearning inside of me. A want, for something that differs from the regular modes of expression. To discover an intriguing little mountain path that leads me up into the winding caverns of the imagination. Byways that diverge and distract you for a while but that ultimately take you back down towards the main road. Of truth. Hopefully with a new appreciation for its many nuances.

My intention is to be someone’s weirdest conversation. The anecdote they retell at parties as an example of convoluted associations, strange wording and mind blowing entertainment value. And at the same time I wish to remain both truthful and honest. Unfortunately there appears to be no consistency of quality in any of my musings. Sometimes I have a way with words, at other times I simply have my way with them. Off-putting to some.

I’m perfectly fine with being alone for longer periods of time. It gives me the chance to reflect on things. A much needed inventory and reorganisation of the warehouse that is my mind. Aloneness also carries with it a sense of security and calm. One does not have to consider anything more than the thoughts that are racing through your head. Bouncing off of one another. Sparking new but partially mangled ideas. I suspect what inspires me to make such efforts at communicating is a quest for intimacy. A true feeling of belonging is what ties these periods of solitude together into something meaningful. The world is a wonderful place containing endless possibilities, with terrible consequences. Existence as a dimly lit carnival of extremes. Intimacy is what smooths over the jagged edges you might encounter in the dark. Verbiage is my entrance pass. Listen to it.

vicolly