Posts Tagged ‘Dead

26
Jun
09

Michael Jackson, and the bullshit that followed.

So Michael Jackson died. My reaction to this is one that swings like a damn pendulum between utter apathy and surprise. I’m not surprised by the actual death, mind you, but by other people’s reaction to it. Yes, he did write some snappy pop tune in his day. No doubt about that. But he also molested children. That’s right. He was a fucking pedo. I think there’s little doubt about that anymore.

Him being acquitted equates to very little for me in this case. Just like the OJ Simpson trial, Michael Jackson’s two highly publicized trials only proved that a rich person can get away with anything in Los Angeles. It also helps your case if you are insanely famous. And that you would be raped, murdered and then raped again within 10 minutes of your incarceration. Who could pass up the chance to rape the King of Pop? I know I couldn’t.

My tone is harsh and brutal. The memories the kids have of the King of Pop placing their genitals in his mouth is probably a whole hell of alot more harsh and brutal, on top of being disturbing beyond all belief. The only way MJ could become any more disgusting and creepy would be if he returned from beyond the grave as some sort of unstoppable child-molesting zombie. Let’s hope the kids can find the magical pendant until then.

The social convention to celebrate someone when they’ve died no matter what they did in life is one I cannot fully understand. Let’s just be honest. Which is worse: being remembered as a troubled yet brilliant man with personal issues, or a two-dimensional character dancing on a stage in glittery pants? On a personal note – I’d rather be remembered as the asshole I was than some magical nymph-like creature that spread good will and tidings to all the world’s people while maintaining a killer bod which smelled of chamomile and thyme. Bullshit seems to be rampant in this area. Prune it just a little, please.

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18
Mar
08

5 People.

This is a list of five types of people I wouldn’t mind seeing dead.

5. Condescending Bisexuals
Have you ever run into these people? Bisexuals who seem to think that because they find both men and women sexually attractive they somehow, in some mysterious way, are more enlightened then the rest of us. You know, us common folk that only want to fuck one or the other. Truly they are the chosen people! Why? Well because they’ve seen past gender and appearance and found that you fall in love, not with the gender but with the person. Wow, isn’t that inspiring? Granted of course that this non-gender-specific person still conforms to our culture’s perception of beauty. I’m sorry but penises, to me, look horrendous. I wouldn’t want one anywhere near either my face or ass. In fact, the first time I saw my own I attacked it with a shoe.

Sexual preference does not equal moral superiority you smug bastards. Another thing; you don’t get more options because you’re “playing both sides”, so to speak. What it comes down to, in the end, is how attractive the other person finds you. Not just appearance wise although that is unfortunately the most important factor.

4. Young folk who act older than their age
This is especially prevalent among university students. People approaching their mid 20s that act as if they were in their late 40s. Wearing boring “adult” clothing, sipping lattes, conversing about what table napkins would be the best for their next couples get-together/dinner party. You’d think they’d be talking about something like “the Geo-political situation in eastern Africa” but no. They have so perfected this act since high school that they’ve realized that older people don’t actually talk about that stuff. More on shallow and stupid people in their 40s later on.

What happened to the energy of these people? All I wanted to do when I was in high school was to fuck on the floor and break shit. Thinking about it, that’s still all I want to do now. Alright, that may not be entirely true. I do like having a good deep, fervent and energetic conversation about an interesting subject-matter from time to time. But if you actually try this on these yuppie offspring you quickly notice they’re incapable of such thought. I suspect they’ve developed this intricate and boring lifestyle full of little fetishes like napkins, home decorating, couples dinners and other mind numbingly boring activities as a subterfuge for their lack of depth and intelligence. Crafty scoundrels!

3. People who grew up in the 60s and 70s getting tough on kids
This is as much an objection to the reasoning as it is to the rhetoric that these people use. I will grant them that kids are insufferable bastards and need to learn some discipline. Hasn’t that been true in every generation since the dawn of man though? And shouldn’t that be something for the parents to sort out? The schools can only do so much. The main problem with slipping grades in schools all over the western world lies not with the children but with the poor quality of the grownups, the teachers. How to improve that is a different rant entirely but suffice to say that improving the status of the teaching profession and holding them accountable for results may help.

What really makes me want to go into a self-induced coma is when these people who grew up in the 60s and 70s use harsh rhetoric and language. Words like grades, expectations, discipline, control and uniforms get thrown around. While they were handed everything in their youth. EVERYTHING!

So when these pampered to middle aged, fat, comparatively rich, white motherfuckers come along and say kids these days lack discipline I just want someone to invent cyborg warrior bodies. So that their 80 year old parents can rip their damn heads off! Call it a really really really late term retroactive abortion.

2. Subcultures
Stop letting your entire identity be dictated by things other people have created. Be it music, clothing, books, movies or video games. You’re being a shallow cunt, stop it.

1. Bloggers and the people who read them
Most blogs are about absolutely nothing of worth. They’re just some ramblings from some teenage girl (either physically or mentally) about what they did today. And I’m not even talking about exciting stuff like teenage sex and drugs. No, negative, denied. It’s always some meandering post about what they ate or what clothes they wore. I have friends who do this, if you’re one of them consider this my way of saying; I like you, but for fuck sake!

I know these pointless blogs have been an annoyance to many people over the years. I’m certainly not the first to bring this up. I did it however to set up a point. Could we please, please agree to stop reading these “celebrity” bloggers? These wannabe socialite journalists who live these fabulous lives revolving around gossip, fashion, parties and one has to assume rather boring sex. Mostly implied, naturally. They just seem too neat and well scrubbed to be having anything other than dull repetitive sex. In their luxurious penthouse apartments smelling equally as sterile and unnatural as their genitals. It’s bad enough that they can’t quite seem to string together a complete sentence, they make money doing so. These blogs are essentially the same thing as other personal blogs, only infinitely more sad. For all of us.

What sort of vapid, soulless, asinine existence is that? If you’re asking yourself how I can rail against this sort of thing and then myself slip in bits and pieces of my own life in this blog, well…you’re just going to have to figure that out on your own.