Posts Tagged ‘Movie

13
Mar
09

There cums the neighbourhood.

The other night me and the girlfriend were reliving shared but separate childhood memories by re-watching The Neverending Story. It was a spur of the moment type thing, so we got started rather late. As we were approaching the half-way mark we found ourselves getting the mid-night giggles. That stage of tiredness when everything seems rather funny. We were chatting in hushed and clipped tones and having a laugh at how poorly some of the elements in the movie had aged.

During this most pleasant of times we get interrupted by a loud banging on the wall followed by an equally loud yet muffled voice.

– “I’m actually trying to sleep!”

Or something to that effect came pouring through the wall we share with this apparently grumpy denizen. Most rude. That I had been forced to overhear said person have loud and obnoxious mid-day sex just a few days prior is of no concern. Apparently. Clamorous Afternoon Boinking – Perfectly acceptable. Average Nightly Conversation – Horrendous.

We weren’t having a rip-roaring booming time, with rowdy cheers and boisterous applauds. The volume was in every respect, reasonable. A bit too reasonable even. Had it sounded like twenty-odd burly men performing heavy construction in the middle of an ongoing party as a gaggle of geese were set ablaze for the party crowd’s amusement I should think my keen and sharp neighbour would have hesitated before bothering me with information on his sleeping habits. The silly git.

The addition of the word “actually” in his improvised and analog cross-domicile radio theatre opens up a whole other level of  possible interpretation. Did he actually expect us to know that his and our headboards were adjacent? What then must be his point with such rambunctious three o’clock sex? I dare not speculate any further into such perverted goings-on that must be…going on.

I quite often over-complicate things. He’s probably just a self-centered asshole. Which is an interesting idea, in and off itself.

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29
Dec
08

Economical.

I just want things to be slightly closer together than they are right now. Think of how much space, time and energy we would save if they were. Imagine the savings we would make during the course of a year. What if your bedroom was a few steps closer to the front door. The kettle a little bit closer to your cup. A far off country not quite so far off, just down the road. Things would run much smoother, take less time and you would be closer to all the things you love. Mind you, it would also mean that you were closer to the more unpleasant things. But nothing good without some bad. That’s what your grandmother says, probably. And with my plan her house would be closer to yours as well. No excuses left to not go see her, you lazy bum!

If we just started moving things closer together by even a fraction we’d save a surface area the size of, let’s say, Belgium. Think of all the stuff we could put there. Like all of our garbage and meaningless nicknacks. Although arguments could be made that Belgium is already filled with frivelous crap. Nevertheless it would free up lots of space for items we need. Such as cement mixers and movie parlors. Hoist, move and bind things together. A glimmering economical future is on the horizon. With gusto we set sail for frugality and delectation. Hoorah!