Posts Tagged ‘Music

12
Jul
09

Pucker up.

The game Lips. Holy Jumpin’s Jesus has that piece of digital entertainment given me pain the past couple of days. It’s a rather girly karaoke game containing tracks of a popish nature. Which I have nothing against. Too each his own, and so forth.

mic2

What annoys the hell out of me is the little snippet of music (and I use the term so loosely here that I dare say it has lost all of its damn meaning) that plays between the bouts of singsong. It’s monotonous. Not just monotonous, but short. Shorter than the average sneeze. Without the joy of neurologically resembling an orgasm, or so the urban legend goes. Anyhoo. A couple of thumps of bass and then the thing starts over. Ad infinitum. Was it too expensive to extend the length of this turd to a whopping 10 seconds? Let’s say, the duration of a protracted yawn.

Breath in, shape your mouth and exhale a little ditty. Whatever comes to mind, no longer than 3 seconds. Record it and play it back to yourself on a loop for about 2 minutes, with 3 minute intervals, for the next 10 of your waking hours. At the end you’ll be jamming your housekeys into both ears. A pierced eardrum or two being a small price to pay in order to escape such an auditory hell.

Sidenote:
A little bit edgy today. No coffee in the mornings here,  badly missing my sweet cup of Swedish java. And my sunny vacation time is drawing to a close. How are you?

Advertisements
21
Mar
08

The Enthralling Poo Experience

A few of my neighbours are music students. Nothing wrong with that, they’re usually pretty laid back people. Sometimes however they make me wish I was deaf. It’s not that they’re untalented and play their instruments poorly, in fact I consider some of them to be quite skilled. I do however find that they choose rather inappropriate moments to enrich my daily life with their art.

My most recent encounter with their musical musings came while on the toilet. I don’t want to hear a beautiful flute solo coming through the air vent when I’m taking a shit. This is not supposed to be a delightful moment for me. My asshole is being stretched out. This is not the time to get whimsical. I half expect an enchanting little pixie to come frolicking into the bathroom, tossing around pixie dust and inviting me to come along to his magical kingdom. As soon as I’ve wiped. Hey, I’m a polite guy. Always wanting to put my best foot forward.